Do you want to know how we managed to overcome anxiety in my house?

It had been a month from the first day of school and my son León cried every day and it was getting worse. I became the mother that the teachers have to take my kid from me. Not only did I feel sad thinking of my son alone in a corner of the room crying, but also, I felt totally unsuccessful as a mother and had everyone insinuating that the fault was mine.

I tried to leave it quickly, just as the teachers advised, but I didn’t feel well doing it because he would be frightened and angry with me; I have been an affectionate mother and focused on his emotions, so doing something like this didn’t represent me and the way I was raising my child.

Every morning it was a nightmare to take him to school, until one day I couldn’t. I thought about getting him out of school and trying again the next year, but that was not what I wanted to show him, I needed him to be brave and that was the perfect opportunity to teach him to overcome his fears, a task he will face thousands of times in his life. I felt I needed to give him the tools and we needed to make the transition together.

That same day I went to ask for help in a child care center, there I was advised to do a story describing the routine of a school day, that way, Leon could anticipate his day away from home and reduce his anxiety. Not knowing how to draw, I got some pictures of him, cut his little face from it and complete my drawings. That night of insomnia the Lion Heart Goes to School book was born.

The next morning, I read his story and gave him a heart-shaped little stone and said, “Inside this stone I put all my love and your courage for you to remember how brave you are. Then everything began to improve. Leon was happy with his story and the moment we shared together every morning reading it”.

A month after reading his story every morning and keeping his heart-shaped little stone in the pocket of his uniform, he said, “I do not need it anymore” (a couple of tears escaped, I was happy to see him sure of himself, finally). Leon beat his fear thanks to the Lion’s Heart Going to School. It’s been two years, but my five-year-old son keeps his heart and takes it every time he needs a little extra strength to face challenges.

In this process I learned a lot about how difficult transitions can be for families with young children. Here I leave my 7 tips to reduce anxiety in your children before going to school for the first time:

1. Choose your child’s school with attention to your personality. There is no school method that is perfect for all children. Your daughter, your son, they are unique.
2. Go to school with your son or daughter as many times before the first day of school as you can, together, holding hands. Take him/her to their class, spend time there reading a book or drawing. Show him/her where the bathroom is, the play area, the library, introduce his teachers, etc.
3. If you prefer to do the story yourself, it is important for him or her to see and hear what a day at school will be, from leaving home until you come back for him or her, like this you will be reducing their anxiety.
4. It is important to bring something from your home with you. My book, Lion Heart Goes to School, includes a wooden heart for you to personalize together and take in your pocket, but let your son or daughter choose what to take. Children need objects to make the transition easier.
5. Validate your emotions. Tomorrow your child will be a teenager and his feelings will be as important, strong and valid as they are now that they are small. It is now that you will be laying the foundations of the type of relationship that you will have later.
6. Don’t be afraid to call emotions by name. Sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration. Emotions do not magically disappear, on the contrary, they grow. Crying is healthy and it’s especially important for males to know.
7. Follow your mother instincts, they don’t fail! The teachers, the directors, the other moms, they’ll give you advice. Listen to them, they are well-intentioned, but only you know that person that calls you mom and you can give your kids the tools for them to begin to live their own adventures.

Look the photo of the little book I made on that sleepless night, the first Lion Heart Goes to School!